yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
