thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
