I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
