you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
