Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
