She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
