They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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