Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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