Dual....:-)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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