Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
