well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
