I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
