we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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