I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
