Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
