i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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