Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
