tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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