Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
