hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
