Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize