I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
