YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
ugly people sure do ruin things
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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