Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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