my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize