After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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