DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
