You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
