Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
