this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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