chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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