Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
