we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
