your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize