Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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