so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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