The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize