Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
