were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
