I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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