i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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