...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
