He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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