It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
