I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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