Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
