I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i dont even know how to be here
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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