How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
