Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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