We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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