I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
