Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
